Have you ever wished that everybody inside would just take a break? Do your inside voices just keep going on and on? Perhaps things feel a bit chaotic inside. Well, that is because they have something to say, so give them a chance to say it! When they are unable to make their needs or opinions known, they are likely to be uncooperative and just keep talking or wailing or screaming or whatever they are doing that is causing distress for you.
Although the psychologists might not like the way we think of our inner people (they might prefer alter or part or aspect) we know that each has a mind of her/his own. Part of what we had to do in order to get everyone to cooperate was to first listen, but we had to find how each alter wanted to speak to us. Here are several methods we have found useful in helping our inner selves be able to make themselves heard:
Dry erase white board - This has been one of our best methods. It allows alters to carry on conversations whenever they feel talkative. We put it in the kitchen, accessible to everyone in the system. Before we were fully coconscious, this was by far the best way for some of our alters to converse with one another, and it was especially useful when there was an internal dispute. We were able to follow the progress of the discussion, and sometimes intervene to facilitate a safe solution.
Journal - We often use a journal for alters to write a length about what they are thinking and feeling. These entries allow us to have a more in-depth understanding of the alter's concerns, as well as, enabling us to get acquainted with the alter more than the white board writing could.
Drawing and Painting - Some of our alters either don't speak or can express their emotions more clearly through another medium. I (Faye) use pencil or charcoal. We have a four year old male (Little Ray) who will only use chalk pastels. Another, five year old Katie, likes watercolor. Some like modeling clay; some like real clay and are good enough working in the clay studio that they can throw on the wheel and turn out nice ceramics. Our three year olds like crayons. My point here is to try to give your alters a chance to find some media they like. We have found it useful to take some of our work to therapy for interpretation and also as a vehicle for those alters who do speak to be able to relate their thoughts to their work.
Non dominant hand work - Our dominant hands are trained to be calculating and precise, but our non dominant hands are not encumbered with such training. Often our alters can express emotion more easily through their non dominant hand than they could otherwise. One thing to remember, however, is that your non dominant hand might not be the same as a particular alter's. Experiment and see what happens.
Computers - We have found that some alters who are shy or mute will communicate via the computer, either by writing or by using IRC. Some of the really little ones need another alter to type for them, but they are then able to chat. This has helped immensely in getting to know some of the very young alters, and they have later been able to talk after they feel safe. One of the things which helped them feel safe and wanted was that we would let them talk with the young alters of other systems or households and the two groups could play together.
Toys and Play - Providing toys such as blocks, dolls, stuffies, and games is a wonderful way for younger alters to express themselves. By seeing what they do, for example, what stories they make up when playing, can give you a lot of insight into what their concerns might be.
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